Jared Allen Does More Cool Things

There are only a few, massive, unstopable killers in nature. Hurricanes, volcanos, and Jared Allen to name a few. After he ends a pissed off buffalo’s futile existance, and consumes the heart (because it makes sense), he throws a spear through an elk’s jugular like it was launched from a ballista. He then followed to issue a warning to bears; to fear him and his spear. To all you bears out there; After you change your shorts, you might want to move to another den, or solar system.

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