5 Signs You’re a Scent Control Freak

By Justin ZarrMay 20, 201517 Comments

There’s little questioning the importance scent control has on your hunting success.  For decades hunters have tried nearly every conceivable way to remove, eliminate, destroy, prevent and kill scent in order to remain undetected by their prey.  And while controlling your scent is certainly a worthwhile endeavor, there are some who take it to the extreme.

Here’s a few telltale signs that you or someone you know may be a scent control freak.

Washing your hunting clothes in scent-controlling detergent is child's play compared to  the lengths a scent control freak will go to remain undetected.

Washing your hunting clothes in scent-controlling detergent is child’s play compared to the lengths a scent control freak will go to remain undetected.

1. Air freshening devices are prohibited in your truck at all times, no matter the circumstance.

A man’s truck is his mobile man-cave, and for us hunters it also serves as the headquarters of many hunting adventures.  No matter the funk left behind by your kids, your dogs or that vanilla latte you spilled on the carpet (don’t tell your buddies you drink those things), you’re not letting any floral or new car fragrances permeate your hallowed seats.

Bonus points if your spray your seats down with scent killing spray, keep boxes of baking soda under the seats, or run an ozone generator in the cab overnight.

2. You wash your bed sheets in scent-free detergent.

Despite your wife’s plea to use regular detergent and her favorite scented fabric softener you won’t back down.  After your scent-free shower and drying off with your scent-free towels you aren’t about to sleep on something that smells like a bed of fresh flowers or some sort of “spring linen” – whatever that is.

Bonus points if you wash the sheets when your wife isn’t around to bust you doing it.

3. Your wife isn’t allowed to hug you if she’s wearing perfume.

Hey there lady, I know you want to show some affection for your man who is about to bring home the bacon wrapped venison, but you better not get too close smelling like a bottle of coconut oil.  We’re not hunting in Hawaii here and I’m not sure if deer appreciate your sweet fragrance as much as I do.

Bonus points if you hide her perfume until after Christmas.

4. You have stripped down to your undies in sub-zero temperatures to change into your hunting clothing before a hunt.

If the Seinfeld “Shrinkage” episode rings a bell you know what I’m talking about here.  Despite nature’s best shot your scent control routine isn’t about to be derailed now.  Late season hunting means spooky deer and controlling your scent becomes even more important.  Cold or no cold you’re going for broke.

Bonus points if you’ve sacrificed your street clothes in order to have something to stand on other than snow while changing.

5. You can recite the wind direction and speed, by hour, for any upcoming 48 hour period during the hunting season.

Ever give someone directions and tell them to head East or West and they look at you like you’re speaking Chinese?  Fact of the matter is most folks couldn’t tell East from West if their lives depended on it.   Yet we hunters can tell you not just the direction we’re facing but also what direction the wind is blowing for the next 2 days.  If you’ve ever been caught saying “The wind is going to be out of the West until about 2 o’clock but it’s supposed to start switching more North before dark” then you’re definitely a scent control freak.

Bonus points if you check the weather so often on your smart phone your wife becomes suspicious about who you’re talking to.

Have any more surefire signs you’re a scent control freak?  Post them below!

Justin Zarr
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General Manager at Bowhunting.com
Justin has been bowhunting for more than 25 years, harvesting a number of P&Y whitetails in his home state of Illinois during that time.  He co-hosts the popular bowhunting show 'Bowhunt or Die' and is a frequent guest on numerous hunting podcast.  Justin lives in the NW suburbs of Chicago with his wife and 3 children.
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